


Resurfacing Fears

by hope27



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 05:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1169522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope27/pseuds/hope27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little different take on the events of 2x12.  Finding the prototype device brings old memories and fears to the surface for the team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resurfacing Fears

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks so much for the likes and comments on my last fic! This one is is something that I have been thinking about since the last episode. I feel like Oliver and Felicity could have had a stronger reaction to another device being found so this is just different take on the episode.
> 
> Huge thanks to anthfan for looking this over and for giving me ideas for the back half of this fic when I wasn't sure where I was going. Thanks to chasethewind for editing as well - especially after I'd been looking at it for hours and didn't know what I was looking at anymore.
> 
> As always, I LOVE to hear what you guys think! Please leave me a note or drop a comment into my ask! Thanks so much!

Air seemed in short supply as soon as the words left his mouth. The blood rushed to her ears and the pounding in her head grew as she heard the sounds that had haunted her dreams for months to come after the Glades fell. 

This was not happening. Not again.

She worked hard to pull in breaths until she could make out the words Oliver was saying over her shoulder.

When she turned towards him, her features schooled as well as she could manage, he handed her something and she had to blink to get herself to focus.

Echoes of falling beams and the creaking foundation filled her mind and she drew in a another shaky breath.

She felt Oliver’s eyes cut over her as she reached out to grab the watch, astutely avoiding his gaze. When she looked at her hand, she saw her fingers tremble and quickly pulled her hand back with the watch, murmuring something about fingerprints and getting right on it.

Oliver’s gaze followed her for a moment before she heard Diggle speak up and she sighed when she felt his attention shift from her to the other man.

Her eyes slammed shut and she counted to ten, focusing on ridding her mind of the images and sounds etched into her memory from that night.

When she could, she focused on the sound of Oliver’s voice, the low, soft tone speaking and suddenly all her thoughts were forgotten. He was talking about the island - Slade and Shado - names briefly mentioned but now being given more life.

The pain in his tone was palpable and she couldn’t help turning her head towards him when he said it was his fault - his fault that Slade ended up the way he did.

Her heart grew heavy as she heard the guilt weighing him down with each word he spoke. One more burden he carried coming to light and she had to physically keep from reaching out to him, grabbing his hand as she spoke up.

“And he found out another way,” she finished, saying the words too heavy for his own tongue.

The slow turn of his head to face her, the sharp pain etched into his eyes cut her deeply. Her face softened and she offered him as much silent support that she could - which he seemed almost surprised to receive.

He nodded his head almost imperceptibly, continuing softly with his story - his reasoning for wanting to try to help Roy. He didn’t want history to repeat itself. He wanted to save Roy - to help him before the mirakuru warped his mind as well as his body.

Diggle grunted in agreement and as Oliver walked off to change, she turned back to her work.

Once again focused on the watch from the man who had helped steal the prototype device. Everything she’d momentarily pushed away came instantaneously rushing back.

She went through the motions as her mind replayed the memories from that night. Collecting the fingerprints she started to run them as she sat back down in her chair and began to pull up the old files that she’d saved from before the Undertaking - everything they had on Merlyn’s machine.

With every window that popped open, she felt the coldness that settled deeper and deeper into her bones. 

It wasn’t until a hand landed on her shoulder, that she realized she’d been biting down on her lip to the point of drawing blood. She spun around, the metallic tang flooding her tongue, a startled scream bubbling up from her throat.

Digg reacted quickly, his hands coming down to keep the chair from tipping over as she pushed backwards. Her breath tripped out of her mouth, coming out in hard pants and she tried to reel in the feeling of wanting to crawl out of her very skin.

“Woah, hey, are you okay?” Digg asked carefully, his eyes taking in her state.

His voice was soft and slow, and it allowed her to get some of her emotions under control. 

Pulling air into her lungs, she nodded, pressing up from her seat to stand. When he stepped back, she skirted to the side and over to the other bank of computers that she had the fingerprint search running on while she worked.

“Yeah,” she replied quickly. “Fine. Just...got a little lost in my thoughts. That’s all.”

“Felicity,” Diggle drew out her name, telling her he didn’t believe a word she was saying.

Closing her eyes, she pressed her palms to the cool surface of the desk. “Digg...I’ll be okay. Promise.”

“What’s going on?” Oliver’s voice called out as he approached and she quickly drew in a deep breath and shook her head, shoving all of those emotions down.

“Fingerprint scan is still running, but I got good prints so it should turn up something,” she began rattling off information, hoping to deflect Diggle’s questions and Oliver’s curiosity. “I’ve pulled up everything we had on the back-up servers about the device - thankfully I had back up servers because most of our main ones were destroyed that night…”

A hard shudder ran through her body, and she had to clamp her lips together to keep her voice from wavering. 

She felt the tension in the air around her and knew Oliver and Diggle were having a silent conversation. The tears began to sting at her eyes and she pushed them back, angry at letting this start to get to her again. She’d dealt with her nightmares and post-traumatic stress syndrome. And it hadn’t been easy and Digg had seen her at some of her worst times, but she’d moved on - she’d overcome it. 

Her heels were the only sound in the Foundry as she moved back to her chair, careful to keep her back to both men. She knew she wouldn’t be able to hide anything from them anymore if she turned around.

“From what I can see, the prototype should be similar to the actual devices, if not a little weaker and made from slightly inferior materials. My biggest question is why no one has touched the Merlyn estate? How was this not found? Something like this has just been sitting there for anyone to find and use again…”

Her voice got faster and faster until she clamped down on her own lips realizing she was starting to sound slightly hysterical.

The feather light touch to her elbow was almost her undoing. It was so familiar to her - that simple contact. Her eyes slammed shut and she tried not to get lost in the gentle pattern his thumb began to trace against her sweater.

“Felicity,” He was close. His breath ghosted against her ear and she inhaled sharply.

“I’m fine,” she ground out through her teeth, hating that this was getting to her again. “I’m fine.”

“It’s okay not to be,” he replied softly, and she tensed, shaking her head.

“I’ve spent enough time not okay about that night, Oliver,” she whispered raggedly, forcing the words through her suddenly tight throat. “Enough nights waking up to walls falling down on me, fears paralyzing me. I’m not going to let it start all over again.”

“It’s not, Felicity,” Diggle said from somewhere over her shoulder and she heard the understanding in his words. “You faced your fears. Remember, you’re stronger than it.”

His words brought a rush of calm to her - the same words he told her over and over again as she walked back into the Foundry for the first time. 

Oliver was still and quiet behind her, and she knew she’d find questions and guilt if she looked at him.

Turning, she sought out Digg, and found him only a few feet away. She gave him a smile of thanks, tears brimming in her eyes.

With a nod, he closed the distance between them, and placed his hand on her shoulder as he planted a firm kiss on the top of her head. His hand grasped hers and gave it a squeeze before he stepped back and found her gaze again, glancing over her shoulder to where Oliver stood and then back to her.

She knew what he was telling her without the words.

Talk to him.

At her soft nod, he smiled and then walked away, heading towards the stairs and giving them some time.

When the door shut behind him, she didn’t turn towards Oliver. Instead, she faced her computers again, diagrams and blueprints of the device laid out before her.

She could feel the shaking of the floor beneath her feet as if it had happened yesterday; taste the concrete dust in the air as it filled her nostrils and her mouth until she could hardly breath without coughing.

Somehow she’d made it out. Oliver had found her outside and escorted her home, broken and bruised. Refusing to talk, but sinking into her hug when they reached her apartment. It took everything in her to let him go that night - somehow she knew she might not see him again.

She’d been right.

It was five months before she did.

“What...what did he mean?” 

His voice was brittle, tight - as if forcing the words out of his mouth was painful.

Shoulders sagging, she turned, her eyes drifting up his torso - over the white t-shirt he’d thrown on - to his neck and then his face. She stopped just before she reached his eyes, her gaze settling on his mouth and the stubble she’d long dreamed about feeling against her skin.

Swallowing, she rubbed her now sweaty palms on her skirt and then pressed them to the front of her blouse.

“After that night, I couldn’t sleep. Little things would set me off. A creak in the floorboards of my apartment, the rumbling of the trucks going by outside, thunder, sirens...they all took me back to the moment that device went off and the Foundry started coming down around me…”

His long draw of breath finally made her eyes flick up to meet his - and she saw the pain etched into his face; guilt gnawing at him, cracking open those old wounds and allowing them to fester and grow.

“It’s not your fault,” she whispered, reaching out and grabbing his hand before she could stop herself. “Don’t…don’t blame yourself.”

She watched as his eyes shuttered, his jaw tightening as her words rang out around them. 

“I didn’t think…” he began and ran a hand over his face.

She reached a hand up and tugged on his arm, which he allowed to fall back to his side. “You had your own issues to deal with Oliver. I don’t blame you...you lost your best friend. You felt like you lost your purpose. I understand. I admit there were times that I didn’t...nights when all I wanted was to see you again, but I get why you ran. And I thought I’d put all of this behind me. I thought...” She drew in a ragged breath and her words got stuck in her throat.

Dark blue eyes locked onto hers and she had to swallow when she saw the honest emotion in them. Every mask and pretense was down and he was letting her see it all - all his grief and heartache and sorrow. She wasn’t the only one with old wounds opening after hearing about the prototype device - he was struggling as well.

She bit down on her lip out of habit and then hissed, remembering she had drawn blood earlier.

His brow furrowed as his hand reached up to cup her cheek, the warmth of his palm seeping into her skin and easing away the cold that had settled in her bones.

She stopped breathing when his thumb trailed under her bottom lip and then barely brushed the torn skin. 

It was her last straw. Her emotions rose like waves within her crashing against her quickly eroding barriers. A ragged gasp fell from her lips and she felt the hot tears that spilled down her cheeks just before everything surrounded her, pulling her under. 

Oliver’s hand slid back to the nape of her neck and then he was tugging her to him, her hands releasing her own shirt and fisting into his, holding on to him as if he were a buoy in the midst of the stormy seas. 

With her head pressed against his shirt, she reached for anything to hold on to - to focus on instead of the echoes of groaning concrete, sirens and distant cries for help. 

The slow, easy rhythm of his heart slowly penetrated the din in her head, and she released a breath as if she’d come up for oxygen.

With each beat, the panic faded away until she began to feel the slow circles he was rubbing into her back and the soft rise and fall of his chest beneath her head.

Despite not wanting to leave the warmth of his embrace, she pushed back, picking her head up as one of his hands slid to cup her cheek, wiping away the remnants of her tears.

She sniffled, and eyes flitting up to see his gaze trained on her through her now blurry frames. His other hand rose and before she could stop him, he was lifting her glasses, and wiping them gently with his shirt before placing them back.

When she could see clearly again, she gave him a soft smile of thanks and realized quickly that she still had two fist fulls of his shirt in her hands. She released them quickly and tried to smooth out the now wrinkled fabric, only managing to feel the twitch of his muscles beneath her fingers. His hands caught hers after the third pat and held them tight, trapping them between their bodies.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you then,” he stated evenly, his voice gravelly. “But I’m here now…I’m not going anywhere. If you need to talk, or a shoulder to lean on or anything...I’m here.”

Felicity sighed, her eyes holding his as she soaked in his words. “I think I already used your shoulder…” she eyed the damp spots on his shirt from her tears. “And your chest…”

Her cheeks warmed and she shook her head as she realized she was still staring at the firm plane of his muscled torso. 

Calloused fingers squeezed hers and she tilted her head up again, looking at him through her lashes. “You know the same goes for you, right? I know finding another device…” The same one that caused so much damage, that took so much, “That can’t be easy,” she said, her voice not much more than a whisper as she tried to find the right words. “Actually, I know it’s not easy. I know you’re hurting too. That it brought up memories that you’d rather not remember…”

She watched as he sighed and dropped his head forward, his forehead brushing the top of her hair.

“We’ll find it,” she declared, managing to keep her voice steady. “It won’t happen again. It won’t…”

Oliver let out a long breath and then lifted his head, blue eyes trailing over her face before he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her temple. She sucked in a breath, her body tightening before she sank against him and he pulled her close once more.

“I know we will,” he murmured against her hair.

They stayed like that until the computer beeped alerting them to a match being found for the fingerprints. Felicity broke away from him, turning so she could see the screen, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she pulled up the new information.

“Gotcha,” she muttered under her breath, and then threw a triumphant look over her shoulder at Oliver.

The smile he returned was full of pride and made her heart flutter inside her chest. He leaned in over her shoulder, listening and reading as she told them of their new target.

Diggle reappeared a few minutes later and then everything was a flurry of activity as Oliver changed, donning the suit.

She handed him his comm link before he left, pressing it into his gloved palm with a whispered plea to be safe.

He gave her a soft nod of his head, his hand finding hers and squeezing it tightly before he lifted the hood and was bounding up the stairs of the Foundry.

She listened as Oliver confronted the arms dealer and held her breath as the Bronze Tiger made his appearance.

It was the sharp cry from Oliver’s throat - echoing in her head - that caused every muscle in her body to tense, cold fear and panic running swiftly through her veins.

Oliver’s voice shouting at Roy overrode the roar of static and blood that pounded in her ears.

She knew the moment he’d revealed his identity, could hear it in his voice and the startled gasp from Roy.

It wasn’t until Roy agreed and the rending of steel could be heard that he said her name. The low, heavy tone made her inhale sharply as she immediately knew what he needed her to do.

“How long?” she asked breathlessly, trying to keep the swell of panic and unwelcome memories from overtaking her.

“Forty minutes,” he replied tersely and she nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. 

“Okay, I need you to tell me what you see,” she said softly, her voice shaking slightly despite her efforts to keep it steady.

As Oliver spoke, Diggle’s hand landed on her shoulder and she looked over to see that he’d pulled the other chair up beside her. He could hear everything through his own comm link and her heart hammered in her chest as she gave him a look.

When Oliver’s voice trailed off, she knew what they had to do.

She needed to be there. She’d gone over all the blueprints and the prototype was different from the actual devices that Merlyn had used. 

Diggle gave her a sharp shake of his head, but she tilted her head to the side, her eyes flashing. 

A stretch of seconds passed as they stayed in a silent battle, until she finally softened her face, and silenced her comm along with his.

“We have to go, Digg,” she said, her voice strained. “There are too many unknowns. I need to see the actual device. It’s a prototype - things have been changed, even from the blueprints...And you’re the expert in this area…”

Diggle’s jaw tightened and he closed his eyes briefly as she waited, until finally he gave a resigned nod.

“Felicity!” Oliver’s voice hissed over the comms, worry seeping through the normally calm tone.

Unmuting her link, she started talking. “Sorry, this is different from the other’s Oliver. Not everything is the same. I need you to look for a long cylinder…”

As she spoke, she was moving, grabbing her tablet, making sure the blueprints were spread out over the screen as she and DIggle made their way up the stairs and out of the Foundry.

They made a silent decision not to tell Oliver, knowing that he wouldn’t agree and would try to fight them.

As Diggle drove, Felicity kept talking to Oliver, learning as much as she could and asking him if he saw certain features of the device that could be the same as the others. Her hands shook from both adrenaline and fear as she worked, but she tried hard to keep her voice as stable as possible. 

At one point, Oliver’s voice softened and she heard him let out a long low breath. “You can do this, Felicity,” he whispered and she let his trust in her fill her with confidence.

Pushing past the lump that formed in her throat, she swallowed before replying with a soft and meaningful thank you.

The docks were only ten minutes away from the club and by the time they pulled to a stop, Felicity felt fairly confident that they could disarm this device the same way they could the others.

Oliver had already suggested throwing an exploding arrow in the container and making a run for it, but Felicity had shouted a loud and absolute “no” to that idea. It was too unstable. Blowing it could still set off some kind of tremors and they couldn’t take the risk that it would completely stop the device. Not to mention, her heart-rending fear that the blast would take Oliver with it. That was not an acceptable option.

She slammed the car door behind her as she leapt from the vehicle the second they stopped and Oliver heard it. 

“What was that?” he asked, voice low enough to be considered a growl.

Felicity’s stomach flipped but she pressed on, letting Diggle lead them through the alley and into the open space where she made out Oliver and Roy standing in front of a very large metal crate.

“Felicity?” Oliver asked again, still not seeing them, but she couldn’t find her voice to reply.

Her heart hammered in her chest, her breaths beginning to come out in short pants as the fear and panic welled up within her once more. She’d never had to stare the device that had caused all of her nightmares in the face before and now she was twenty feet from it.

Oliver whirled as soon as their footsteps echoed in the night air and she saw his shoulders tense, eyes flashing behind the mask.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” he roared, and although his sharp tone made her wince, she ignored him, instead heading straight for the crate where Roy still stood, looking wide-eyed and as scared as she’d ever seen the young man look.

“Digg!” Oliver bit out and she spun on her heel, nerves on thin ice as she stepped up to Oliver.

“Stop it,” she commanded as steadily as she could. “We have less than twenty minutes to do this and Digg knows his way around bombs better than any of us.”

Oliver looked like he wanted to argue but bit back his reply, gritting his teeth and setting his mouth as he gave a nod.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled up her tablet again and stared at it and then back at the device. She felt both Diggle and Oliver behind her and their steady presence gave her confidence.

When Oliver’s hand landed on her shoulder, it allowed her to push the last memories of the undertaking out of her mind and focus completely on the present.

With only a tremor in her voice, she steadily began talking them through how to deactivate the device.

Diggle and Oliver moved carefully when she began giving directions, their movements slow and precise. As the countdown reached the seven minute mark, it began to move and she could hear the collective reactions, including her own breath hitching.

Felicity locked eyes with Oliver as she told them which wires to pull.

With a sharp tug, the wires were disconnected, and they waited, no one daring to even breathe.

Three seconds passed and the device still hadn’t shut down. White noise flooded Felicity’s head as she began to shake, words spilling from her lips as Oliver and Diggle looked at each other and then back to her.

“No, no!” she cried. “This is how we deactivated the last one. Those were the right wires…This can’t be wrong…”

Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest that she was sure everyone could hear it. Tears swam in front of her eyes, blurring her vision as she checked and rechecked her screens. On the fifth run through, she knew she’d told them to pull the right ones. 

Everything slowly began to narrow down to just her hands where they held her tablet and were trembling. In her head, she could feel the ground beneath her shake, the distant roar of the large old factory creaking above her. She couldn’t breathe, her pants coming out in short hard breaths that no matter how many she took wouldn’t pull enough oxygen into her lungs.

“Felicity!” Oliver’s voice cried out to her and she sobbed knowing that he hadn’t come to rescue her that night.

“Felicity!” It was louder this time and then there was a strong hand covering hers and squeezing tightly.

Her eyes flew open and she gasped, lips parting as the memories flew apart and she was suddenly back at the docks with Oliver and Diggle staring at her worriedly, thirty precious seconds having ticked by on the count down timer.

“Oh!” she cried, mentally berating herself for letting her emotions get the better of her. 

Quickly, she took a deep breath, and focused her eyes back on the tablet. She turned the blueprints this way and that and then finally she looked up to see the biggest difference in the two devices.

The black wire. 

“Digg,” she cried hoarsely, “Look to your left. You see the large wire. It wasn’t on the other devices. Does it run the length of the cylinder?” she asked quickly.

It only took the military man a moment to process the scene and then nod, giving her a clipped, “Yes.”

“That’s how we stop it,” she stated, Oliver’s hand slipping from hers so he could return to Diggle and help him find the end of the wire as the device inched closer and closer to the concrete beneath them.

The large blue numbers counting down their time hit one minute and behind them, Roy lost it. “This is ridiculous, just blow it. It’s almost touching the ground. You don’t know that’s going to work...If it goes off…”

She could see Oliver wanted to yell, but knew he needed to keep his composure holding the delicate wires of the device.

“Roy,” she snapped out, somehow managing to keep the trembling as she turned on her heel, “You need to calm down and trust me.”

The young man gritted his teeth and she saw a flash of something dangerous and almost unnatural flash through his eyes before he seemingly managed to get control of his emotions. She didn’t miss how the metal he held in his hands was bent and rendered unrecognizable in his hands.

There was a moment where she was sure her heart stopped beating as Diggle found where the long black wire was connected to main cylinder and yanked it hard. The blue backlit numbers slipped down one more second and then flickered before disappearing as the entire device whined to a stop. 

Felicity felt a sob work it’s way out of her throat and her legs threatened to give out from underneath her. And then Oliver was there, slipping the tablet out of her hands and handing it to DIggle before strong arms banded about her waist and held her close. The familiar scent of leather and spice surrounded her and with both hands now free she didn’t waste a second sinking into him, her hands clinging tightly to the back of his jacket.

She felt the fast staccato beat of his own heart beneath her ear, the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he buried his head against her hair.

A large hand landed on her back and she turned her head and opened her eyes enough to see Diggle staring down at them both and offered him a smile of relief and thanks.

“Why would you come here?” Oliver finally asked, breaking the silence. His voice was strained and she knew he was fighting for control of his emotions.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed back enough so she could look up at him. “There was too much I didn’t know and I wasn’t going to let it happen again...I needed to see it and don’t be mad at Digg, it was my choice.”

His chest rumbled as he pulled her back into him, and placed a kiss in her hair as his shoulders sagged.

“So, is this the wrong time to ask what the hell is going on?” Roy’s voice broke through their shared moment.

A growl escaped Oliver’s throat when Felicity jumped forgetting about the young man who know obviously knew all of their identities. She quickly broke away from Oliver and turned around, surprised to feel Oliver’s hand come to rest at her lower back as if he needed to be touching her. She chanced a look back at him to see that he was very much fighting his own demons from the last time he’d faced this device and lost.

She shifted a step closer to him as Diggle came to stand next to her, the three of them facing down their newest possible ally.

“You’re...?” Roy asked, voice trailing off in disbelief, confusion flitting across his face along with the dissipating anger and fear. 

Felicity felt her heart go out to him. He looked so lost and suddenly very small in his torn red hoodie with the three of them staring at him.

As if he sensed she was about to speak, Oliver slipped his hand down to her hip and gave it a squeeze, letting her know he had this one. 

She watched as he stepped towards Roy, carefully picking up his discarded bow that lay a foot from the younger man.

“Yeah,” Oliver replied with a half-laugh. “Yeah.”

Felicity held her breath waiting for Roy’s reply, watching as his face softened as he shook his head.

“Last year you saved my life,” he said softly. “And I don’t mean from the guy who kidnapped me,” he quickly added causing Felicity’s heart to swell as she knew what he was trying to say and what it would mean to Oliver. “I mean, you saved me. You gave me purpose...”

Roy looked like he wanted to say more but couldn’t put it into words. A silent thank you passed between the two men and Roy stuck out his hand.

She watched as a myriad of emotions crossed Oliver’s face - ones she knew he rarely showed. There was a moment and then Oliver easily tossed his bow into his left hand as he took Roy’s with his right.

Felicity couldn’t stop the smile that formed on her lips, her hands clasping together in front of her. She looked over at Diggle and found he wore a similar expression, fighting to keep his own smile at bay despite the fact that they both still had concerns about Roy knowing the truth.

“We’re just getting started,” Oliver replied, and at that Diggle let out a grunt.

Oliver heard it and turned to face them, dropping Roy’s hand and leading the young man towards them.

“Roy, these are my partners. John Diggle and Felicity Smoak,” he introduced, and Felicity saw the surprise register across his face at the Arrow having people who worked with him.

She reacted first, stepping up and shaking his hand. Diggle also offered his, even though she could tell he and Oliver were having a silent conversation about all of this.

“How many people know about you?” Roy asked, turning back to look at Oliver who was pulling his hood back up, and Felicity caught the slight grimace when he did.

She was moving towards him even as he spoke. “Too many,” he gritted out and then looked down at her as she approached, his voice softening. “But these are the only two that matter.”

His words and the look he was sending her caused a pool of butterflies to erupt within her stomach, a warmth spreading throughout her despite the cold air that surrounded them as the stood on the abandoned docks.

“What happened?” she asked, her hands already reaching out and trailing over his jaw and then down to his shoulders, searching for any signs of a wound. 

She took one arm and then the other, inspecting them, her fingers twining around his gloved fingers.

“I’m fine, Felicity,” he whispered hoarsely, his voice affected by something and when she looked up at him she realized it was by her and her administrations. 

Darker eyes looked back at her and she drew in a breath to calm her suddenly racing heart. “You’re not fine,” she retorted as she moved his right arm and saw him wince again.

She was up on tip toes, her hand curling around his shoulder when she felt the slickness at his back.

Letting out a soft gasp, she flew around him, searching out the wound. The sight of the ragged claw marks on his back made her chest tighten, her throat clogging up as it did every time she saw him hurt, knowing he was adding one more set of scars to his body.

Diggle was behind her in an instant, looking over the injury and then began ushering them towards the car.

“I think we’ve lingered long enough. And you probably need stitches,” he stated pointedly to Oliver who sighed in resignation.

“You didn’t have to tell me that,” he remarked and Felicity heard the weariness edging into his voice.

Moving to his uninjured side, she put his arm around her shoulder, and started them towards the car, even though she was fairly certain he could walk on his own.

As they passed Roy, she saw him giving them a scrutinizing look, but shrugged it off, focusing on Oliver and not the unexpected newest member of their group.

From behind her she heard him speak to Diggle. “Are they…”

Felicity’s brow furrowed as she strained to hear what Roy was asking Diggle, but he was cut off before he could finish his question.

“I’ll explain it to you later,” Diggle replied and then hurried in front of them to open the door to the car as they approached.

Roy climbed into the front seat as she and Oliver settled in the back. Felicity grabbed the first aid kit they always stowed in the car and quickly pulled out a few of the gauze pads, making Oliver turn so she could press them against his back to staunch the bleeding.

He grunted and she softly apologized but instead of replying, he reached back and took her free hand, silently letting her know he was okay.

“Anywhere else?” she asked quietly so Diggle and Roy couldn’t hear, and when he shook his head, she heaved a sigh of relief.

It didn’t take long for them to reach the Foundry and as Diggle sewed him up, Felicity held his hand while Roy hovered anxiously by the computers, his eyes taking in the scars and tattoos that littered Oliver’s torso. She could see the questions brewing in his eyes but gave the younger man a soft shake of her head when he looked up at her. 

When Diggle was done, she stepped up, applying the antibiotic ointment and the bandage. As her fingers smoothed down the edges, she felt him let out a ragged breath. The heat of his skin seeped into her, and she found herself wanting - not for the first time - to run her fingers over his back, soothing the tense muscles and exploring him completely.

Shaking those thoughts from her mind, she stepped back, helping him pull up the shoulders of his grey sweatshirt. He grimaced from the movement, but she knew he wouldn’t take any of the painkillers they had so she just let her hand trail over his other arm as she walked over to put the tape away.

“I..I should get to Thea. She’s texted me like four times and I’m already in for it by now,” Roy said, breaking the silence and Oliver turned, his eyes flashing up.

“She can never know, Roy,” he said grimly. 

The younger man nodded, “I know. I get the feeling that if I did tell her, that would be when you kill me.”

Diggle snorted from across the room, and Oliver leveled Roy with a look. “Trust that instinct.”

Roy nodded, and Felicity turned to hide her smile at Roy’s obvious belief in Oliver’s threat. 

“It was nice meeting both of you,” Roy called and then he was bidding them good night and heading up the stairs.

There was a moment of silence before Diggle spoke up. The uncertainty of adding Roy to the team became the next topic of conversation, but it was quickly put to rest with Oliver stating that he had no choice - he couldn’t get through to him any other way.

“I get that,” Felicity replied, nodding her head and taking a step towards him. “We had no choice when we had to tell Barry.” 

Oliver’s eyes flashed, but he let his shoulders drop and nodded his head. “I know.”

“Do you?” she pressed, needing to know once and for all if this was behind them.

“Yes,” he replied, looking up at her, his eyes reflecting the honest emotion in his voice. “I know I didn’t understand it right away, and I handled it...badly…”

Felicity scoffed at that, raising an eyebrow, making Oliver cringe. “Okay, I know...I reacted horribly and I apologize.”

“Wow, three apologies from Oliver Queen, I must be special,” Felicity quipped, trying to lighten the mood as she flicked her gaze to Diggle who was regarding her with a knowing look.

Something in the way the older man was looking at her caused her to blush and she turned away, carefully avoiding Oliver’s eyes, and quickly busied herself with closing out all the information about the Markov device and saving the files to the back-up drives, praying she would never need them again.

Diggle bid them goodnight a few minutes later, and she after shutting off the last monitor, she turned, ready to gather her own items, but Oliver was there, inches from her. She had to step back to keep from walking right into his very broad chest.

“Oliver,” she softly chastised, once again thinking about how silently he could move when he wanted to, and how it was both sexy and annoying at the same time.

It was his voice that brought her out of her thoughts.

“You _are_ ,” he said, blue eyes dancing over her face.

She frowned, suddenly confused as the last thoughts in her head didn’t match up to what he was saying. “What?”

“Special,” he added, releasing a breath and looking up before finding her gaze once more. “You are special.”

All the breath left her body, and she stilled, mouth opening and then closing. The butterflies that had calmed since their last flight came awake with such a rush they began running into each other causing a falling sensation along with the fluttering.

His hand reached for hers and she looked down to find her aqua-painted nails curled around his tanned skin.

Instead of the normal thank you that someone might normally say, the words that fell from her mouth were an apology. 

A line formed in his brow, his mouth turning down into a frown, and she quickly rushed to finish her thought. “I’m sorry that I froze back there...it’s just for a moment I was back here with everything coming down around me and I thought it was going to happen all over again…”

The pressure of his fingers against her own stopped her flow of words and a finger landed under her chin, tilting her head up. Her eyes locked with his and she drew in a short breath at the softness in his gaze as he regarded her.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he murmured. “It’s a side-effect of PTSD, trust me, I know. The important thing is you came out of it and you _did_ stop it from happening again.”

The breath rushed out of her and she nodded her head, not trusting her voice to work as she let his words sink into her mind and heart. 

The heat of his palms framing her face drew her eyes up to his again and she gasped at the desire that shot through her as she gazed up at him, so openly regarding her. She loved to see him like this - relaxed and unguarded - less like the man who held the weight of his past on his shoulders and more like the man she’d come to know him to be in his heart.

His mouth was hot and hard against her forehead and she found her hands reaching up to clasp around his wrists, her thumbs moving over his pulse point to feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat pumping blood through his veins; alive and well and whole in front of her after another night of facing the dark sides of the city in which they lived.

Her eyes fluttered shut and she let herself get lost in the feeling of his hands on her face, his lips against her forehead, and his strength surrounding her.

“You’re special too,” she murmured, when he moved back and she felt the acute loss of his heat. “You’re so much more than you think you are - just look at Roy - you’re helping him, keeping him from turning into someone he’s not. You’re a good man, Oliver. I’ll remind you of that as long as I need to for you to believe it.”

As she gaze up at him, she saw him shake his head slightly as he looked down at her with surprise, and she smiled, lifting up on her toes and brushing a kiss across his cheek.

When he didn’t move, she stepped back and gave him a few moments to digest her words, taking the time to gather her coat and purse. By the time she had her coat on and was heading for the stairs, he’d moved, turning off the lights as he joined her. Without a word, he rested his hand on her lower back and they walked up the stairs and out of the Foundry together, slowly realizing that they were stronger together than they ever would be alone.


End file.
